My January health kick (no fat, no caffeine, no fun) ended last Monday morning with a giant chocolate muffin and two cups of coffee - I just couldn't face going to a meeting about meetings without calorific assistance. Unfortunately some of my colleagues are a little more dedicated than me. I say unfortunately, because diet talk is just so boring. Forensic analysis of who sat next to the boss at lunch is out - in favour of a detailed discussion over whether yoghurt still counts as low calorie if it is a chocolate cluster Müller Corner. At least my mid-morning cuppa (if not the accompanying biscuits) is still safe from the podge police. Or so I thought - but it seems that even tea can be good for you, especially if, as Whittard of Chelsea tells me, it is "Pu-Erh" tea, believed to have metabolism-boosting and (don't snort) "fat-melting" qualities. Apparently, Victoria Beckham (a role model for right-thinking women if ever I saw one) swears by the stuff, and she's like, thin. Pu-Erh? Puh-lease.

Anyway, everyone knows dieting doesn't work without exercise and I can't go to the gym because I am working late. And early. So I might as well eat all the biscuits. If only it were that simple - but sadly, a Pilates teacher from Yorkshire, Lindsay Jewison, has ruined my excuses with www.myexercisestudio.com, an online exercise class, which means you can do it wherever and whenever you like. Including the office. In theory. But if you think it's bad enough hiding your online shopping from your boss (who doesn't spend most of their time with the cursor hovering over the minimise button?) just imagine what it would be like if you got interrupted mid-stomach crunch.

by Mira Katbamna